For years, fans kept wondering where Yo Yo Honey Singh had disappeared. One of the biggest names in Indian music suddenly vanished from concerts, television appearances and public life right at the peak of his fame. Rumours naturally took over. Some people blamed burnout. Others assumed addiction alone was the reason behind his disappearance from the spotlight.
Now, the singer has shared in detail what was actually happening during that phase of his life. During a conversation on the ABtalks podcast, Honey opened up about bipolar disorder, substance abuse, paranoia and the years he spent isolated inside his house while struggling with his mental health.
‘I was feeling that I will die on stage’
According to Honey, his condition started worsening during a hectic period when he was simultaneously managing a music reality show in Mumbai and an international tour with Shah Rukh Khan.
“I was doing a music reality show in Mumbai and an America tour with Shah Rukh Khan. I was getting suspicious thoughts that I will die. I was in Chicago; somebody was with me, and she said, ‘You have to go for rehearsal.’ I said I can’t go. Shah Rukh bhai called me and asked what happened. I said, ‘I will be fine; I will see you on stage,'” the singer recalled.
He explained that the fear became so intense that he started looking for excuses to avoid performing because he genuinely believed something terrible would happen to him during the show.
“I was feeling that I will die on stage, and I was thinking, how can I skip it? So I shaved half of my head, but they said, ‘We will make you wear the cap.’ I was like, ‘People are not understanding,'” he said.
‘For three years, I didn’t step out of my bedroom’
Honey shared that he eventually called his sister after realising something was seriously wrong.
“Then I called my sister and told her that something was happening to me. She said I would still have to do the show. I left midway after singing two songs. After that, I stayed inside my house for seven years. I didn’t want my fans to see me in that condition. I locked myself inside and didn’t even meet my childhood friends. There was no communication, no phone calls, no TV, no internet. People used to think the devil was talking to me,” he said.
The rapper further explained how severe his condition became over time.
“For three years, I didn’t step out of my bedroom. Even while taking a shower, I used to keep the bathroom door open because I was scared I would die. Bipolar disorder takes you into destructive thoughts that are not real, but it makes you feel like they are actually happening,” Honey said.
The singer also revealed that his perception of reality had become deeply distorted during 2018 and 2019.
“In 2018 and 2019, I believed that I was already dead. I used to sit there thinking I was dead already and stuck somewhere between heaven and hell. My mother would give me food, and I would think it was my last meal,” Honey said.
‘This is fake hair; I am totally bald’
According to Honey, recovery finally started after he changed doctors following years of taking the same medication without major improvement.
“I was on the same medication for seven years and still wasn’t getting cured. But when I finally decided to step out of my house, I also changed my doctor. He changed some medicines, introduced new ones, and adjusted the dosage of the main salt. I started recovering within four weeks. In just four weeks, I started meeting people and facing life again,” he shared.
The singer also spoke openly about how the medication affected his body physically over the years.
“I was on heavy medication for seven years. I became 105 kilos because of it, and I lost my hair completely. This is fake hair; I am totally bald. This is a wig,” Honey revealed.
Reflecting on his overall recovery journey, the rapper admitted that the effects of substance abuse stayed with him for years even after he stopped taking drugs.
“You won’t believe it, but even after I stopped doing drugs in 2014, it still took me seven to eight years to recover,” he said.
Looking back now, Honey described the entire experience as mentally and physically exhausting, though he says he finally feels stable again.
“I feel like I have just come out of a sauna where someone made me sit for a very long time. I came out burnt and exhausted, but I feel okay now. I thank God this happened to me in my early 30s because I was still able to make a comeback,” said the singer.
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